Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Daring Book for Girls

Well, I received a copy of The Daring Book for Girls, a book inspired by The Dangerous Book for Boys and I must say, I was impressed. I am not sure what I expected, maybe something too girly for my taste, sexist or anti-boy but I found none of my preconceived biases. Instead, I found a book packed with fun adventures and information for girls of all ages.

The book opens with essential gear that girls need: the list includes among other things, a swiss army knife described as a key tool for survival, a bandana to keep your head cool, rope and twine to help learn about knots, a journal, a hair band--great advice for girls with long hair-- duct tape, to fix almost everything, and patience--which is described in the book as a "quality and not a thing, but it's essential so we'll include it here. Forget perfect on the first try. In the face of frustration, your best tool is a few deep breaths, and remembering that you can do anything once you've practiced it two hundred times. Seriously." Good advice for anyone.

Readers can learn how to tie knots, how to do a cartwheel, learn weather signs, and my favorite--how to change a tire. Honestly, this is one that is really important for anyone to know, male or female. The steps in the book are really clear and to the point and it almost makes me believe that I could go out and change my tire right now. Almost, did I ever mention that plumbing and hands-on mechanical skills were some of my lowest scores on an aptitude test in college? Embarrassing but true. I realize this book is geared towards girls and teens, not women my age, but I might be sneaking a look at it every once in a while to help me with such skills as improving my sense of direction, camping skills, and learning to do Japanese t-shirt folding.

Finally, I would like to commend the authors for their excellent advice for how to deal with boys:

... One, if a boy doesn't like you for the way you are, the problem is him, not you. And two, don't try to make a boy change for you--it's important to appreciate people for who they are.

Wherever you fall on the spectrum of how you feel about boys, do treat all your friends, boys and girls with kindness. This has gone out of fashion, and that's a sad mistake.

Overall, the truth is that there's no big mystery about boys. Boys are people, and like all people, they are complicated. And that's what makes being friends with other people interesting: You get to learn about how other people think and act, and, in the process, learn a little bit more about yourself.

Good advice.

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29 Comments:

Blogger Edgehopper said...

"patience--which is described in the book as a "quality and not a thing, but it's essential so we'll include it here. Forget perfect on the first try. In the face of frustration, your best tool is a few deep breaths, and remembering that you can do anything once you've practiced it two hundred times. Seriously."

Good advice for anyone, but especially girls in this context. From my experience teaching math and science, lack of patience and an unwillingness to bang their head against the wall repeatedly (metaphorically) is what hurts girls in those subjects. In class, girls typically prefer to learn by having a teacher tell them things, while boys are usually more inclined to do things and experiment until they get it right. The latter approach is far better for learning math and science, and I think is the chief reason for the gender difference in the area. I won't speculate on whether the difference is caused by society, brain chemistry, or a little of both.

(Note: This is an "on average" observation--I've known girls who were excellent scientists and engineers. They were the ones willing to try things over and over again until they got it right.)

1:21 PM, October 13, 2007  
Blogger David Foster said...

I've read that the book has a section on female heroines/role models, and was curious about who some of them might be.

1:22 PM, October 13, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

Hi David,

Let's see. There is a section on Joan of Arc, a section on "Queens of the Ancient World--Salonme Alexandra of Judea who was described as the "last independent ruler of her country Judea," a section on women inventors and scientists including Marie Curie, a section on explorers including Amelia Earhart and Jacqueline Cochran, who in 1953, became the first woman to break the sound barrier, a section on women spies including Hedy Lamarr and believe it or not, Julia Child who before becoming a chef worked with the Navy.

1:37 PM, October 13, 2007  
Blogger KG2V said...

Ah, Hedy Lamarr - who invented spread spectrum technology besides being beautiful

And Julia Child. What can I say except that 2 years ago, when my daughter had to do a grade school "Hero" report - I recommended Julia Child as a subject to her - she was more than slightly surprised at her history (I was not - as I knew it)

2:33 PM, October 13, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Changing a flat is a big one. Started with bicycles when the girls were young. Then with their cars. Check the oil and tranny fluid, Know when to get the fluids changed. The battery, everything under the hood that has a reservoir. The right fluid in the right place. There's not always gonna be dad at the other end of the cell phone. Reader's Digest "Fix It Yourself Manual" was a birthday present a couple times too.

Hey, it ain't easy bein' equal.

8:17 PM, October 13, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

"duct tape, to fix almost everything"

Ooh, I have to get a new roll, I noticed mine is getting low. You see, I was slitting a couple of green tennis balls for the legs of my neighbor's walker and she observed that it would be nice if they made them in gray to match.

No problemo I said, and wrapped the duct tape around the middle of the tennis balls and wound it up around the gray legs -- now they match and they'll not be falling off either!

11:15 PM, October 13, 2007  
Blogger Orez said...

Just pre-ordered the book for my daughter. Hopefully it'll help her understand some of the things about growing up that are so hard to explain once you've already done it... Plus, being a father, I'm not sure I can explain very well what growing up as a girl is like.

11:19 PM, October 13, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

dividingbyzero,

I think your daughter will like it, there are some fun things to do that you can help her with such as learning karate moves etc. and if nothing else, it makes a good reference manual to go back to when you want to learn something such as how to roller skate etc.

5:58 AM, October 14, 2007  
Blogger pawtuck said...

Helen,

Can you tell me the recommended ages for this book? I haven't seen it in any of the reviews...

10:00 AM, October 14, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

pawtuck,

It says on the back cover for "every girl with an independent spirit and a nose for trouble" but grades 3-12 sounds about right.

10:24 AM, October 14, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

That description sounds like my sweety. ;)

And I wouldn't have her any other way.

10:46 AM, October 14, 2007  
Blogger K T Cat said...

One, if a boy doesn't like you for the way you are, the problem is him, not you

No, no, a thousand times no! WHy does there have to be a problem with anyone in this case? If he doesn't like you for who you are, he wasn't The One. It's that simple. No one is at fault.

Other than that, way cool.

10:49 AM, October 14, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

K T cat,

I agree, no one is at fault or maybe the guy or girl really has an unsuitable personality or something else that the other person does not like, big deal--in other words, maybe it is you. But I felt that the overall advice was good and you have to give credit for that.

1:17 PM, October 14, 2007  
Blogger Mortimer Brezny said...

One, if a boy doesn't like you for the way you are, the problem is him, not you. And two, don't try to make a boy change for you--it's important to appreciate people for who they are.

This is terrible advice. If a boy doesn't like a girl because she is an obese alcoholic, the problem is that she's an obese alcoholic. I'm sure her doctor would agree. And you're supposed to change to suit your lovers; that's what communication and compromise are about. Relationships without communication and compromise do not work.

I realize the advice was well-intended, but people evolve and are influenced by others, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. We don't need another book encouraging arrogance and amorality.

8:43 PM, October 14, 2007  
Blogger Andrew Clough said...

I wonder if this book, in its accounts of admirable female role models, mentions Beryl Markham? I think that if I ever have children any female ones will certainly be receiving West With the Night at some birthday.

9:24 PM, October 14, 2007  
Blogger Bette said...

"This is terrible advice. If a boy doesn't like a girl because she is an obese alcoholic, the problem is that she's an obese alcoholic. I'm sure her doctor would agree. And you're supposed to change to suit your lovers; that's what communication and compromise are about. Relationships without communication and compromise do not work.

I realize the advice was well-intended..."

Um, hello? It's a book for young girls, ages 8 - 13. Obesity, alcoholism, lovers and being a mailable sponge so a man likes you hopefully doesn't hit until college.

11:39 PM, October 14, 2007  
Blogger TullimoreDu said...

I haven't looked at this book; I'm sure it's a wonderful book. I have daughters who may well be too old to really benefit from it, though I may consider buying copies for my grand-daughters (should I ever be so lucky).

But I have to tell you that the one very thing that's so annoying about it is the incredible rush to press with it. It's almost like "hey, the boys are getting back ahead of us, so we gotta catch up and show 'em that the girls are still better."

I don't begrudge individual girls the experiences, but this tit-for-tat, I-can-do-anything-better-than-you-can crap engendered by the authors and publishers is out of control.

10:44 AM, October 15, 2007  
Blogger lawdog said...

I bought The Dangerous Book for Boys and now will buy The Daring Book for Girls. Thanks! (I'll probably need multiple copies of each -- I have two nieces and three nephews, all under the age of 10.) But I am left with one question: why isn't this just one big, valuable, cool, educational, fun book, The Dangerous and Daring Book for Kids? Why separate books? Dr. Helen, do you think worrying too much about which gender should do what prevents kids from discovering what they like and are good at, and perhaps just takes some fun out of simply learning and being young?!

11:09 AM, October 15, 2007  
Blogger Peregrine John said...

While it's likely as Daring as the boys' tome was Dangerous (meaning, not particularly if at all), this is definitely another one to pick up; and I probably will, before the end of the week.

The short answer to buzz' question, which has been asked and answered far, far too many times since the Dangerous Book for Boys was first announced, is "good marketing." For a more insightful, thorough and educated elucidations, I defer to the good Doctor.

11:32 AM, October 15, 2007  
Blogger Peregrine John said...

Hrm, Tulli, you may be a little touchy about this subject (Lord knows I can be), but the facts of the matter, fortunately, don't bear out the supposition. That a girls' edition was in the works was mentioned in the very first interview I read with the author. It's not like it's a response/rebuttal/knee-jerk reaction by another writer or publisher, but something overtly planned.

Was it done to stave off the "hey, what about us?!" nonsense that may have ensued otherwise? No idea. There's no real suggestion of it, though. That very reaction did occur, of course, along with every other unsavory option the nay-sayers could come up with. But the book was already in the works by the time they attempted to rouse their rabble, so the cause and effect doesn't bear out.

12:29 PM, October 15, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

Buzz,

One thing I liked about "The Daring Book for Girls" is that it was not focused so much on "girl stuff" or "boy stuff" but on having fun. I do think that it is okay to separate the books because on average girls will probably enjoy jump rope and roller skating more than boys etc. and boys on average might like to build a go-cart or make a tree house more than girls.

I do see what you mean though--I don't think it is good to focus too much on gender as it may prohibit a girl or boy from doing activities labeled as "girl" or "boy" things. I think as parents, we should allow our kids to be who they are and encourage them with whatever endeavors they enjoy--I imagine this book is not going to make the difference in whether or not a girl becomes a physicist or a boy becomes a nurse.

Tulli,

The "girls are better mantra" did not come across in this book. It is no-nonsense and with the exception of a "no boys allowed guide to adventure" blurb on the back really did not seem anti-male in the least. I was glad to see that. I understand your concern though.

1:00 PM, October 15, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

Dr. Helen, thanks for your post! I'm so glad you've enjoyed reading the book. We had a fantastic time writing it.

There's a wonderful music video for the book on YouTube that really captures the spirit of adventure and fun we were aiming for in putting the book together. You can view it at:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dhXFkiQVs34

Thanks again!
Andi

http://www.daringbookforgirls.com

4:49 PM, October 15, 2007  
Blogger Helen said...

Hi Andi,

Thanks for stopping by and letting us know about the video, I watched it after reading the book and it was fun.

5:04 PM, October 15, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's pretty easy to see when an individual's steering wheel just doesn't work quite right.

7:45 PM, October 15, 2007  
Blogger B. Durbin said...

So it has Salome— does it have Æthelflæd, Queen of the Mercians (and first ruler to unite England?) No? :)

11:29 PM, October 16, 2007  
Blogger Mortimer Brezny said...

Obesity, alcoholism, lovers and being a mailable sponge so a man likes you hopefully doesn't hit until college.

Listen, you snarky b----, plenty of kids are obese. The point about alcoholism is that it's a problem that many of its sufferers refuse to acknowledge. And I have no idea why a college student, female or otherwise, would want to put herself in a mailbox for a man, but that just shows how creepy and kinked out you are. Just for the record, compromise and communication does not equal "malleable," which you could not spell. Perhaps if you compromised on your ego and glanced at a dictionary, you would know how to communicate better.

12:29 PM, October 23, 2007  
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